Setting out a "Difficult to Sell" Stall AKA how to eat during the collapse of Capitalism

It has been a very interesting year for turning down work! Which is ludicrous of course when like everyone else hustling to get by in the palliative phases of capitalism I need to eat, and pay bills. But the reality is (for all of us but particularly for me) if "integrity" is not baked into the Work then ultimately it HURTS. And if I just rock up and throw a bit of my Derwen magic at an event (which usually means unlocking pent up grief, which both cause and effect draws close the energies of the Unseen) but I am not conscientious about how that impacts the individuals and the web of life around us, then I am not integrity.

So, I have been approached by a few festivals who have asked me to run a "grief tent" or to offer lament poetry on the stage; and my soul soars with joy to be asked. Then I look at their website and check out their instagram and I have to dig quite deeply to find who their shareholders are, where their profit goes and what they have investments in? I look for their statements on war and genocide, I look for land acknowledgement and spiritual integrity. Often I find endless photos of white people with bones and feathers adorning them, doing yoga while drinking cacao while adding breathwork while doing ayahuasca while dancing wildly on stolen land. These events are full of rituals from various cultures, like a spiritual pot luck supper.

And you might think that I sound as if I think I am "superior" in some way and I assure this is not the case; I just despair at the psychic health of these spaces, the extractive and colonial practices that people are paying hundreds of dollars to attend, vast profits, no accountability. I despair that these practices are drumming up the attention of the More-Than-Human without paying cognisance to the history of the land, what wars, genocides and ecocides have taken place before? What Dead are in the land and landscape? What on Earth are you dancing and drumming up, only to ignore them? And how, on Earth, is that good for you? Surely that HURTS?

So after several near misses where I almost got lulled into accepting the glamourous work but as soon as I enquire into their ethics I realise very quickly they only want lament as an act, a performance, a side show... I decided to set out my stall on my website and the text is below. It feels like a gamble in a capitalist sense; that I am basically saying "don't approach me, don't even try to engage me..." IF you are unethical but my hope is that as I get clearer on my boundaries and what I will and will not accept (because it has hurt me in the past), then I will attract the people, places and things that align with this commitment to integrity.

And this is going to be my touchstone moving forwards, taken from www.derwenroots.wales :

I am a poet, pilgrim, storyweaver, companion of the dying and a voice for the Dead, a griefworker, a social entrepreneur, inspirational speaker and explainer of things.

I am being approached more and more to serve as an MC (I would say "servant" rather than Master of Ceremony) by festivals, conferences and large events... and I will always ask the same the questions: 

Who profits from your event? 
Are you divesting from unethical practice? 
What is your statement on the ongoing Genocides in the world today? 
Do you centre Grief in your work or is it a sideshow or add on? 
What practices and rituals are taking place at your event and are they rooted in lineage? Do the elders and teachers of those lineages get fair remuneration? 
Are you doing ceremony and ritual on colonised Land, what is your stance on reparation and land back? 

Do you know what your event is invoking in the Unseen? How are you responsible for that? How well tended are the Dead that have died on that Land? (if no one is asking these questions, then they should!)

I will not work for organisations and events that sell ceremony and ritual as commodities, that blend culturally appropriated rituals from around the world without consciousness or reverence of the Land and traditions the event is taking place on, I will not quietly run a grief tent in a corner while people rave on stolen land, I will not be quiet about genocide and our complicity in it. I will not lever my reputation to improve yours if you are not committed to systemic change and hospicing capitalism.

I will name Global Systemic Collapse as a lived reality, I will ask that Grief consciousness is woven into every detail of your event, I will work with all contributors to ensure the ritual and ceremony taking place is coherent and safe, I will broker if necessary better relations with the energies of land, place and space. I will bring poetry, lament, humour and joy to your space. I will scrutinise the integrity of your space and if you are the right people for me to work with, you will welcome me to do so. Your event will be significantly more meaningful and powerful for having me cast my spiritually diligent eye over the plans. 

I am a Servant of Ceremony and a Voice for the Dead. 

I am a white, British, non-binary person from working class heritage, I am highly educated by both the System and the "University of Life", my mentors, teachers and guides have all been Black people or other people of culture and I honour their time, labour and grace in showing me the realities of the impacts of Empire, racism and the continued impact our colonial past has on the present today. I understand the world through the lens of the exile and the shadow-walker, I move between realms, I hear the Dead. And I am driven by a passion it is hard to explain or contain to lever collective and systemic healing of the Ancestral field. I am 30 years a psychopomp and broker of ancestral healing but I am not fluffy, love'n'light is not for me; I can be formidable and I have forces Unseen at my back. I am a searing truth teller and no nonsense bad ass; while also being one of the softest most emotionally literate people you will ever meet. I cry openly when Grief moves in the field, I have mastered my emotions and they are part of my power. My presence alone can be disruptive to established orders and where trauma and grief is suppressed. Invite me in only if you want someone as fully human as possible to read you and your organisation with a Love that illuminates the darkest shadows while being the luminescent sacred Darkness itself.